These Are My Confessions…

Well, I did promise that during the LiveFit program I’d highlight the ugly as well as the bad and the good, right?

I’ll begin by saying that the “ugly” I’m about to highlight has absolutely nothing to do with the LiveFit program. The LiveFit program has been nothing short of amazing and I am so thrilled to have decided to take it on.

The “ugly” has everything to do with my inner fat girl. That’s right folks, I LOVE EATING. I especially love eating bad food, no matter how bad it makes me feel. And this week has been the diet week from hell.

If there were a diet god, I would have been hit by several diet god lightening bolts and would be up in flames burning for all eternity right now. Forgive me diet god, but I have MAJORLY sinned.

These are my confessions… #UsherVoice


Tuesday: Since joining Weight Watchers back in May of 2012, Tuesdays have been my weigh-in day and the start of a new week for me. It’s an opportunity to get on the scale to get an idea of how things are going and a fresh start to make some fantastic diet and exercise related decisions for the week.

So, on Tuesday, I jumped on my home scale. 3.4 lbs over my goal weight. This could have been for a multitude of reasons, so I didn’t have a heart attack. I just brushed it off and told myself that this week would be the week when I’d start counting calories again. I swore I’d pay closer attention to portion control and that I’d be more mindful on my cheat day.


Then Tuesday night happened. My boyfriend and I went to the Bulk Barn to stock up on quinoa, because this week was MY week to kick major diet butt, right? WRONG. I went into that bulk barn to get quinoa and came out with a plastic bag full of peanut butter M&M’s and a hankering for Ice Cream. Off to McDonalds to get a small vanilla cone! I said that this would be my indulgence for the week, and that I would get it over with early so I could focus on being 100% good until the following Tuesday. HA! Ha. Ha.


Wednesday: No problem with Wednesday. The night before, I made the excellent decision to leave the remaining peanut butter M&M’s in the consul of my boyfriend’s car. This way, I couldn’t grab them when I got the urge and hoped that he would eat them while stuck in traffic before I remembered that they existed.


Thursday: Office ordered in chicken penne pasta from Swiss Chalet for everyone at lunch time. Blacked out and ate ALL of said chicken penne pasta in about 10 minutes. Felt sick to my stomach afterwords. Had to hide in my office where I took off my belt and undid my pants because I couldn’t breathe. Went to the gym at 1:30. Worked out my shoulders. Didn’t plan on eating for the rest of the day. Went back to the gym at 5:00 for a second workout. Pulled into my driveway at 6 pm. Remembered the peanut butter M&M’s in my boyfriend’s car. Went into the house and got my boyfriend’s keys. Went into his car. Retrieved and ate the M&Ms. Swore that I was done for the week.


Friday: Ate healthy all day. Had a killer leg workout at the gym. Got home at 8:00. Got a text from best girlfriend’s boyfriend asking my boyfriend and I if we wanted to do something. The plan was made that we would go to Boston Pizza. Boyfriend and I would share a light appetizer to keep it in control. Boyfriend and I ordered two unhealthy appetizers and ate them all, plus two slices of best girlfriend and her boyfriend’s pizza.


Saturday: Ate healthy all day. Went to Starbucks with girlfriend who was having a major crisis meltdown at 8:00 pm. Was starving. Drank green tea. Watched girlfriend drink full-fat latte and eat blueberry bar while trying not to cry from hunger pains/jump across the table and shove her blueberry bar in my mouth. Success!


Sunday: Ate healthy all day. Went to another girlfriend’s 30th birthday potluck. Decided to bring fruit tray and eat nothing but fruit and one small sliver of birthday cake. Ended up eating fruit, six meatballs, nacho dip, one potato wedge, two mystery cucumber snacks, three double chocolate brownies, two chocolate and vanilla brownies, one piece of pound cake, lord only knows how many glasses of punch, licking frosting off of one knife and three shortbread cookies. I went to bed with no pants on because once again, I could not breathe. I also felt like I had sprouted another chin. Seriously. My invisible neck rolls were out of control.


Monday: Today would be different. It was a fresh start. I woke up with a sugar hangover. I felt drunk. My skin hurt. My saliva tasted like sugar. My brain felt like bursting pop rocks. I felt like I had gained 50 pounds over night. Screw sugar and bad carbs, I was packing a healthy lunch, healthy snacks and having a protein shake and a banana for breakfast. Then on my way out the door, I grabbed two shortbread cookies and jammed them down my throat before I even knew what I was doing.


And now here I am. Shaking like a sugar-filled zombie, wondering how long it is until my best friend Trevor catches wind of my insane week of indulging and kicks my ass.

I promised that I would highlight the good, the bad and the ugly during this 12 week experience. This was ugly.

Now that I’ve confessed my sins, I’m ready to hit the gym where I will likely sweat sugar crystals and have heart palpitations. But it’s cool, because I’m being honest and honesty breeds accountability.


I would be doing myself and my readers a gigantic disservice if I pretended to be a super awesome fitness and diet rock star all the time. So there you have it. This week sucked. And there will be weeks that will suck again. That’s just life.

Now I’m going to have to work twice as hard this week to make up for all the shit I put in my body last week. But I’m ready to recommit, refocus and get back to building the body I will earn and deserve.

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…Namaste 🙂


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